Star Wars jobs


If your workplace was in any of the Star Wars films (the ones screen when we were kids – not the crap that came out in the 21st century)

The Empire

You work in a large soulless multinational. Everything is dehumanisinlgy huge. You have to wear uniforms. The CEO wears a mask and drops in to terrorise the upper management. There are frequent on the spot career ending sackings as well as promotions. The chairman and founder is a butt ugly old man in a black clock who thankfully isn’t so hands on. Originally the key products of the company were simply law and order.

However this has changed after the restructuring following the clone war. Now the main product is galactic domination. Consequently, customer service is no longer a priority or even a factor. Customers who complain are usually ignored, imprisoned, or killed. This has led to pissed off customers and disgruntled employees to form a non profit group to opposes the company. The rebellion has wrecked quite a few major infrastructure projects. However the company has shrugged off these fiascos with even bigger heavier infrastructure projects. All aimed at terrifying the markets to toe the company line.

Solo Shipping Inc

You work for a small shipping business. It is owned and operated by Han Solo and his hairy business partner Mr Chewbacca. The company’s sole asset is a YT-1300 stock light freighter dressed up to lower its market value. However it is actually more powerful and effective than it looks thanks to the considerable engineering talent and hacker mindset of the proprietors. Despite their technical proficiency, the company is shockingly sloppy in the accounting and legal departments. Customs declarations and cargo manifests are a joke. Its registration details don’t extend much beyond a vague reference to Corellia.

On the financial front the company is a ship wreck. There is a very high compensation payment owed to the Hutt consortium for dropping the ball on a delivery. To make matters worse, Mr Solo’s gunslinger ways of fending off debt collectors doesn’t seem to make fixing the balance of payments a priority. The company has no proper marketing talent. As a result it has ended up giving no question asked rides to shady characters and their unregistered droids out of back water planets. A bad idea which leads to getting involved in galactic politics and inadvertent military subcontracting. All of which adds to the company’s liabilities.

An unfortunate encounter with the Empire’s senior management causes Mr Solo to be used in a sneaky take over plan on Bespin. it fails but a key asset (Mr Solo) gets frozen. However, the Mr Chewbacca has a surprisingly long term view that the market conditions would change – and more importantly erase the company’s financial liabilities. This strategic vision leads to a close partnership with a large non profit that is taking on the empire.

Rebel Alliance

A non profit group aimed at destroying the soulless multinational called the empire. They sort of resemble an early 21st century Linux User Group with guns -but more organised. Campaigns against the empire such as the first attack against the death star can only be described as suicidal. The success of these audacious innovative all boil down to superior Intel and the skills of front line employees.

The rebellion has organisational hierarchy that seems quite flat but is actually quite vague. Everyone seems to be either a “commander” or a “General”. A high attrition rate among senior staff means that on one is really bothered about updating the org charts. However those who can improvise on the moment are the ones survive and make it. Light-sabre skills and the ability to speed dial the force are clear advantages.

Practically all its members are disgruntled former employees or customers of the Empire. A key factor in employee dedication is not just the organisation’s multiculturalism and open embrace of diversity but an undying hatred towards the empire. Also most of the Rebels (as employee refer to themselves) don’t have anywhere else to run. Idealism and having no other options keeps the nose of moral just out of the water. It is not an easy process. The infrastructure is quite makeshift. Working conditions are rough and constantly shift to harsh extreme climates. Just when you set up a new office the Empire wrecks it and its time to run again.

I doubt George Lucas ever thought of behavioural/organisational stuff when backing out the original Star Wars movie on his credit cards. But not there’s a blog post about. No doubt it is not the first 🙂

Star Trek for that matter is an entirely different story and another post.

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