Dec 17th was a perception changing day but not for the usual extraordinary reasons. No life altering incidents, epiphanies, conversations, coffee altered mental states or memos from the voices. Just the end of the first day of my leave. Predictably some of the better perceptions about life seep from the mundane. Annoyingly they tend to be difficult to verbalise. This is an attempt to do so.
The obvious perception is the abrupt end of the usual routine. A decadent late night bout of intellectually empty films. Waking up without alarms, no commuting in the rain. The ability to be somewhere else when usually you are awaiting Mr M.S Outlook’s delivery of the day’s horrors.
I suspect it’s the time of year that’s causing a simple change in routine to feel oddly “significant”. This IS the “end of year season”. An annual change of routine that shouldn’t be fodder for philosophising. Did my first — and possible only – airport pick up for the year. I prefer the heady speeds of the old mid night airport runs to fighting through day time, rain time traffic. At least I didn’t need to drive.
This season routine has shifted. There isn’t a deluge of arrivals. Practically everyone’s been hitched (no more weddings). Quite a few friends/relative have migrated back after the war’s end. Those still in exile have new offspring that make air travel expensive and draining. On the way back, the usual “how was the flight” chatter dries up faster. Not much commentary about how this or that has changed. Then a quick fade to quiet in respect of a jet lagged, sleep deprived dose. The “welcome back” lunch is blissfully uncomplicated. The bags that that have to be lugged up stairs are lighter. I’m shackled to get the wireless set up “properly” and rewarded with a Bavarian coffee.
Perhaps the most perception altering is the extravagant ultra deep afternoon “nap”. I wake up disorientated not knowing the time of day. As a result I’m wide awake around mid night writing this. A radical break from long term routine brings the previously unnoticed in to short focus. “Holiday mode” even if one it at home, creates a slower pace of thought.
What has changed ? Things slowing down? The obvious sight of youthful looking people looking older ? Personally it’s a sense of being tired after a grinding year. An unconscious knowing that next year will be busier and harder. In writing this, the biggest change I sense is a rain of tiny shifts. Perceivable yet inexplicable for words. Serious enough for the voices to go easy on me despite the mountainous back log of unwritten posts in my head. I’ll keep pecking at it no matter at my slowing pace.
What changes have YOU started noticing at this time if the year? The comment box awaits.
If I don’t get around to it before year’s end, happy new year. May the shifts that await you be good ones.