Trishaw sex book frozen, authors deny BBS links


Publication of the long awaited “How to have sex in a Trishaw” book is on indefinite hold. Its publisher, the Vātsyāyana press, refuses to explain. It merely issued a tweet stating that “no date for future publication is planned”. The exploding speculation of the causes has focused on a falling out with extreme faction of the BBS. Howdever the actual cause is shockingly bland.

The core idea of the book is an expansion of the “How to make love in a mini” info graphic. The Trishaw version depicts positions taken from the Kama Sutra and the Arabic Al-rawḍ al-ʿāṭir fī nuzhaẗ al-ḫāṭir (The Perfumed Garden of Sensual Delight) . These are adapted for the space available in a Bajaj 4 stroke three wheeler.

According to an undisclosed source, this is where the book’s trouble began. Tests proved that many of the positions were unsafe when performed in a three wheeler. The risk of toppling the vehicle was “very high” for over 90% of the positions. Some positions placed unusual stresses on the three wheeler’s frame. These would in time cause structural failures when the vehicle was moving. The findings were confirmed by occupational health and safety experts. The consequences of these findings were far reaching.

Unverified reports indicate that Bajaj Auto Limited in India has threatened legal action against the authors. Photography for the Illustrated versions of the book was cancelled after The Kama Kala Shilpi Peramuna (the union representing adult entertainment artistes) also promised similar action. Both organisations claimed the book misinformed the public into high risk behaviour.

The third axe to fall was a raid by Department of Adult Recreation Health and safety monitors on premises owned by the authors. A court order sealed the manuscript when an initial hearing concluded that the material was of “significant risk” to the public safety.

The book was meant as a financial life saver for the book’s authors, the Ceylon Fornication and Recreation Club. The club (the oldest of the country’s colonial era “copulation societies”) is battling adversity on several fronts. The publication freeze only worsens the club’s financial and legal situation into a nightmare.

The club is already under investigation from the Department of Adult Recreation for poor hygiene and STD prevention practices. An expensive legal dispute with a much younger, better funded sports club forced the Ceylon Fornication and Recreation Club to stop using its once familiar acronym. With it went the marketability of its valuable brand name.

The last decade also saw a female membership numbers and fees shrivel. The club continues to take a beating for refusing membership to the GLBT community. The list of disputes and investigations over financial irregularities is much longer.

In the face of this crisis, the book was touted by external consultants as a smart idea. Initial funding is rumoured to have come from an extreme fascist faction which broke away from the BBS. This faction is intent on increasing the Sinhalese birthrate by banning birth control and setting up “breeding” centres. The book as meant to “stimulate” the working class population. A segment that supposedly made greater use of three wheelers.

So far the club’s only lucky break is not having to return the initial funding money for the book. Which the club is unable to locate along with some of the members involved with the project. Possibly this break is motivating the club to strongly deny the BBS related involvement.

Society observers are convinced that the club is doomed. Many draw parallels to its end with the now defunct All Ceylon Russian Roulette Club and the Ceylonese Bare Handed Wild Boar Hunting Club.

Yes, the voices in my head comes up with some odd stuff. For the sake of what passes for sanity I have to get it out of my head so here we are. At least it is a relief from my attempt at weightier rants. Thank you for reading this far.

6 comments

  1. They really should have considered the Piaggio Apé rather then a Bajaj. A much sturdier beast and extra leg room and the higher seating would not only allow more interesting positions but also in a more secure footing.

    I think history will prove me right in this one!

    Like

  2. Buffoons, Cerno, greater-spotted, lesser-horned, red-billed buffoons!

    By the way, your new theme, although being ‘minimalist’ does mean an extra click to get to the links. And, when I do get to the links, and want to select an item in the archive – I get a coding bug that sends me to a random post. Try it yourself.

    Like

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