Third Rajapaksa term highlights


Politics

  • Purges of those suspected of links to UPFA defectors (assuming they weren’t plants in the first place)
  • Mithreepala is sentenced to hard labour in solitary confinement or appointed prime minister for his loyalty (if you are into conspiracy theory)
  • Government’s legal position is always backed up by the Supreme Court
  • Ministry or department for every opposition MP that crosses over. Government get back 2/3 majority in a matter of hours
  • Maximum length of Presidential term set by president
  • Vague and therefore powerful extra judicial authority for the BBS
  • Pusswedilla becomes the first fictional character to a cabinet minister (as cabinet spokesperson)

Infrastructure projects

They will dwarf what came before.

  • Colombo Jaffna highway with the new suspension bridge over the Jaffna lagoon
  • High speed rail link to Nuwara Eliya from Mattala airport
  • Several new power plants (some of they might actually produce electricity)
  • Construction of the world’s largest cricket stadium at Elephant Pass
  • Overhead luxury monorail connecting all of Colombo’s 5 star hotels
  • EPF funding switched entirely to Minhin Air’s “colossal” profits which are declared “Inevitable”
  • Jaffna fort becomes luxury shopping precinct and hotel complex

Events

  • Funding for astrology by ministry of defence exceeds funding for higher education
  • Both Presidential jets end up being A380s after Boeing pulls out
  • Formula 1 comes to in Colombo. Road.lk Twitter feed overloads as traffic chaos goes nuclear
  • Annual Yala to Pottuvil Point beach all terrain vehicle rally (condemned by evil western NGOs like Green Peace
  • Last wild elephant in Sri Lanka adopted by the temple attached to the world’s largest cricket stadium in Elephant Pass
  • Military ranks for university staff cleared by the BBS and who choose not to resign
  • BBS takes over military leadership training for university entrants
  • Grandest ever Non aligned leaders conference (CHOKM was a cigarette break by comparison)
  • The D.A Rajapaksa Cup Derby at Nuwara Eliya becomes one of the premier horse racing events in the world due to lavish funding.

Nothing shocking (unless for the hopelessly naïve). Of course none of these are that imaginative. Feel free to contribute with your own via the comment box.

Sri Lanka is approaching another turning point in its history. I feel oddly calm about the approaching trains at both ends of the tunnel. The only fear I have is for the personal dangers people face. Specially during times of uncertainty. When the powerful will do any cruelty to preserve themselves. I hope we all make it through this one without sorrow.

Irrespective of what happens may you be safe and happy in 2015.

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